Using media as self-diagnosis

We seek out tv shows and choose music for several reasons. Among them: entertainment, resonance, and need.

Entertainment is self-explanatory… which is why I had to explain it.

Resonance - because it vibes with your personality/life. If you grew up in the hood, most of the times songs about your hood life touch a nerve within you. If you are a UFC fighter, you most likely like testosterone-filled rock.

Need - now this is key. When you gravitate toward something, and you can’t honestly say it represents you, it’s because it represents an unfulfilled need in your life.

Examples:
When I listen to rock, it’s not because it resonates with me - it’s because I need more of the testosterone-filled activities in my life, like sex and violence.
When I watch drama, it’s because I’m not getting enough social excitement in my own life.
I always like seeing a beautiful girl, but when I’m spending hours looking at pictures… maybe I’m missing some sexuality, some variety, or some beauty in my life and/or relationship.

… and so on. So whenever I find myself listening or watching something for a reason other than entertainment or resonance… it is a great diagnosis for what’s missing in my life.

Don’t get stuck in the Student mindset

In our path to self-improvement, we become all too willing to follow experts in different areas. This is not a bad thing - who better to learn from than a master, or at least someone better than you are at that activity?

But along the way, some of us give up our authority in every area of our life. I think there should be at least ONE area of your life in which you are the ultimate authority. You don’t have to be an expert to be the leader, either. You just have to be the one directing the energy of the group. “Leader of Men” isn’t just a DHV or a pickup tactic, it’s a vital part of your manhood.

I’m okay, but not great at pickup, so I don’t purposely lead anyone in that area. These days I’m a bit more athletic than a lot of people, which makes me love to have training sessions where I help them improve their athleticism. And even when I workout with guys more athletic than myself - they may surpass me, but they won’t lead me.

When you are looking to everyone for an answer, it decreases your self-worth and makes you needy. Which is retarded considering the purpose of self-improvement is to become MORE self-confident and less needy!

Refinement

Pickup, or any form of social strategy, should be used as a refinement of existing social skills, not the basis of it.

The reason why some guys take a shorter amount of time to get really good than others, with the same resources, is usually because they had some existing social skills. The guys who don’t go out with their friends, have never tried to talk to a girl, have never gotten comfortable in a bar or club - these guys will take a lot longer to get good, but it’s not due to the lack of quality pickup advice. It’s because nothing works until they develop their basic social skills.

Poker Face

The next time you have an intense workout or training session, try maintaining a poker face when you’re tired. Instead of huffing and puffing and grimacing so everyone around you knows how hard you’re trying, try smiling like it’s no big deal.

This will pay off socially and professionally, since it develops a non-reactive expression… which will keep business challengers on their toes, and will make it seem nothing phases you, instantly increasing your value in the social hierarchy.

Basics

You don’t always have to learn a new trick or new concept to help you get to the next level. All you usually need to do is to master the basics.

The Focus of Seduction

Is sex the end goal of seduction? Nope.

Paradoxically enough, seduction is the end goal of seduction. Women want to be seduced.

This is why it’s harder to flirt with girls that you really aren’t interested in. It’s not because they have some magic woman 6th sense that tells them you’re too “high-value” for them. It’s because your vibe feels as fake as it is. The reason why naturals get a lot of girls, is because they are interested in all the girls they flirt with.

Flirting and sex are merely means to the end (seduction). And flirting is non-physical sex. Think about it.

Are you unsure? Are you weird and out of touch to your partner’s signals? Or are you confident, aware, and dominant?

Escalating

According to Marc Macyoung, most people play the “escalato” game when getting into a fight. Guy 1 yells, other guy yells back, guy 1 steps up closer and pushes other guy, other guy pushes back, light punches, and maybe eventually a full on conflict.

But if you deal with a trained fighter, a policeman, or simply a guy who doesn’t take your shit, the minute you cross a physical line with him, he ends it. You so much as push him, and he will knock you the fuck out.

The point of a fight is to finish it, not to escalate it.  You can finish it through diplomacy, avoidance, or disabling your opponent immediately. Since most guys are out with friends, or have weapons, I prefer not to get physical, even though I’m training in MMA. I’d rather talk my way out of it than have to deal with the consequences.

Accidental vs. Purposeful

When dressing, some guys try to look like they’re not trying too hard to look good, and some guys are trying to peacock/stand out.

That’s trying to be falsely accidental. Just because we like that look on girls - the messed up, brushed hair, the casual clothes that somehow hug her body, the little bra strap that shows on one shoulder - doesn’t mean we can do it.

On some guys it looks good - but if you want to look GREAT, look a certain way on purpose. And there’s a difference between “so I can look damn good” and “so women might like me.” Dress so that you look DAMN GOOD.

The difference between a regular guys who wears baggy pants and a thug with baggy pants is that the regular guy looks like he doesn’t know how to dress, and the thug (usually) is making it as a fashion statement. It is an outward expression of his identity - purposeful.

Some other stuff that’s purposeful:
Clothes that fit a certain way you want it
Hair that matches the rest of your style
Decorations - Jewelry, Tattoos, Shoes, Belts, Accessories. Hats etc.

You get it. Now dress like you have a purpose.

Be Your Own Authority

Be your own authority. You already decide how the world is, and how people should be. So express that, and the followers will love you for being their leader.

This doesn’t mean be a jackass that can’t take constructive criticism, or one who rejects other peoples’ opinions without comparing it against his own. I learn new shit every day, but I don’t feel like less an authority because of it. Hell, even a king has advisors.

While I am a little preachy on this blog, I try not to expand with all of the countless ways in which the knowledge I share can be used. This is because I think you’re all smart enough to figure it out yourself. If I say Martial Arts = Venusian Arts, I will expand on a few core concepts, but I’m sure if you think about it, you can draw other analogies.

The best thing I can teach you is not something that you can use, but something that you use to understand other things with. It’s like that whole “give a man a fish” analogy.

Ready, Fire, Aim!

Sometimes you have to do it this way.

*This is also the title of a book on entrepreneurship.